Haven’t updated this blog in a while, because I haven’t had the push to write much lately. Anyway, 2018 has been a year of finding my own voice in my artwork. At the very beginning of this year, I was doing traditional paintings exclusively. I worked with a lot of acrylics and brushes.
Give and take, it probably wasn’t my best work. I was shifting further away from Impressionism. What next? I knew I wasn’t much of a realist, nor someone who did portraits, so I decided to stick to some strange in-between. Traditional painting was a whole ballpark to navigate itself. Sometimes, I felt tied down to a canvas and I was unsure, albeit my confidence in art did grow.
Fast forward somewhere to June/July. I was on internship during this time and work was given to us haphazardly. There were gaps of free time and nothingness. I decided to dabble in digital art with my old Wacom again. My first few digital pieces were pretty bad, but it was definitely a starting point. I would take several hours to complete a simple art piece. I didn’t know how to download Photoshop brushes, how to control my Wacom pen – it was a bit of a challenge. Yet I felt that it was fun. It was interesting to manipulate pixels and produce artwork like how I would traditionally. Perhaps a little farfetched, but there was an essence of magic to it.
Around this time I also started my first attempt at mellowpaints. I would scramble to buy canvas boards and paint whenever I got off internship. It was a pretty bad cycle of going about art. I was doing art not to discover my own artistic voice, but rather to post “pretty” photos of staged WIPs. Rinse and repeat. I kept this up for a few weeks but eventually stopped. It wasn’t something that came from within. I held off mellowpaints for several months after that.
During late September/early October, I decided to give mellowpaints another go. I wanted to be strategic for this try. What did I really like to do? What was something I could have fun with? Clouds! I worked with clouds a lot of the time. It allowed me to experiment with colours, details, and shift into a zone I was fairly confident in.
Mellowpaints started to grow and I was happy. I was doing what I loved and it came from a place of enjoyment. Problem was, I turned it into a routine (again, like how I did with my first round of mellowpaints). I was confused as to why that “feeling” returned again. The answer was simple: I was forcing and following some subconscious formula. Rinse and repeat. (Given this is a very awful habit of mine)
That’s where the questions came in – What do I want to paint? Why am I not giving myself room to create? I knew the last thing I wanted was for art to turn into some other kind of chore, or task, or daily obligation. Suddenly, inspiration flooded my mind. I was feeling a totally different spark, and it started to translate into my artwork. It was such a stark improvement that came along.
Mellowpaints has had its own ups and downs. If I could describe it, it’s akin to a relationship. A constant waltz and the need to stay in rhythm. If you go off rhythm, that’s ok. If you step on your partner’s shoe, that’s also ok. I know that it’s only the beginning of mellowpaints! Still very excited about where it would go.
I hope this synopsis of my art journey has been somewhat… fulfilling? Hahaha this is the very first time I’ve even looked back at my artwork, and I’d say that I did well 🙂